Swirling, Swirling over the Golden Gate
Oh what's going on in my life, more of the same, more of the different.
I feel like I don't journal enough, but never seem to be in the state where everything that is floating around in my head coalesces into a coherent block for long enough for me to write it down. Instead I seem to have profound but fleeting thoughts that flit through my head as I vacuum the carpet or scoop cat litter.

I could run down the list of things that I've been up to, as is the usual course. These would include getting drunk on tropical drinks with Daniel and then going to see Up in 3D (I cried throughout most of it, I'm a softy :P), getting completely wired on the weasel vomit coffee with Daniel and dancing like fiends at Death Guild, munching on post-club-drunken burger goodness and then going home for, well... and getting restless with Daniel on a Friday night and so venturing into the city to find *something* to do and ending up at a Dub night on 6th street amongst the 'colourful' street life. Hmmm, I'm sensing a bit of a theme here.

But there's been so much more than that going on.

On Friday I had a short but intense panic attack about Death in the morning, seemingly out of nowhere. At my lunch break I checked my voice-mail and got a message from my mom saying that my Grandmother's cancer is back and it's not looking good. I don't have a valid passport. I've been putting it off mostly because of the divorce and the possible legal name change back to my maiden name, but also subconsciously and partially-consciously because the last two funerals I went to just so happened to occur when the whole family was together and able to go... so in a weird way I thought that by not being able to go back to Canada I would somehow stave off any future deaths in the family. Not the most intelligent leap of logic I know, but that's how these faulty human brains work unfortunately....
So now I must find someway to get myself to Toronto in the near future. Though I have zero money, no passport, and am already emotionally and physically drained with taking care of homeless cats and dealing with the divorce still hanging over me. It just never ends does it? But that's life.
Whenever I start to get all waaaahhhh life sucks I think of this Kids in the Hall sketch, and somehow I feel much better.





Yeah, Thats-a-life.... Haha. We all go through it, might as well accept it.

So I just work work work, trying to get all my shit sorted, both in terms of my physical stuff and the mental bits inside my head. The work never ends, but if it did, I'd probably just get bored and uninspired.

I want a kitten, and to be Alice once again.