Why So Quiet
Hard to believe it's been two weeks since the mutant fest. Time flies by, but I'm finally at a place where I don't really mind. I'm almost never bored, and there's no rush to accomplish anything other than the next adventure. The rest tends to take care of itself through the existence of desire and passion.

But I suppose I should say some things about the mutant fest rather than just posting pictures.
While on one hand the fest could be seen as another road-trip-slash-outdoor-party, much like the dozens of others I've gone to since moving here, it was in essence the ending to a shift that got set in motion a year ago, some time between Gemini and meeting Daniel.

The Journey began by driving to Ashland, Oregon. We passed through desert with temperatures in the 100's, and then through winding mountain roads with spectacular views of lakes and snow-capped peaks. We even had a magnificent lightening show just after Mount Shasta at the border with Oregon, with some of the brightest and largest bolts I've ever seen. We drove straight into the storm, the temperature dropped 20 degrees within minutes and the rain came down so hard it was like being underwater. And like some strange transition, we made it through into dry land with the temperature jumping right back to where it began. We arrived at the hostel exhausted but in high spirits.
The next day we stocked up on fresh food from the local co-op, soaked up the relaxed energy of Ashland, and then headed into the Umpqua National Forest. Searching for a source of water to fill up Daniel's container resulted in a bit of a detour involving stumbling upon a picturesque waterfall and a small lake resort that felt like a time capsule from childhood. Then it was onto gravel roads to reach the festival.

The Mutant Fest was similar to the previous parties I'd been to, but also rather different in a few key areas. There is no central organization, and no central dance area. Instead various collectives setup their own sound-systems, decorations, and so forth wherever they please. For as large as it is, there's no facilities at all (I've been to renegade parties before but not one that was this large or long). The musical styles were also quite varied, though generally stuck to the electronic and dark side of things.
The scenery was very pretty, with tall cedar and fir trees surrounding two marshy meadows. There was also a medium sized river a short distance away where one could swim during the hot daytime. The only problem with the location was the mosquitoes, which made preparing food a pain in the ass at times. But they went away at night when the main activities occurred, so it wasn't too terrible overall. Daniel and I set up camp near the Katabatik sound-system, next to an interesting wood structure people had built, and a grave marker for a Ranger who used to patrol the area.

The first night involved finishing off some magical Monzie treats that we had at NYE. It was a good way to transition into this altered reality and to connect it back to the previous party, especially since many of the same people were there. We listened to amazing throat singing while this random girl started doing bizarre and sometimes impressive contortions to the music. We did some dancing ourselves, at times it felt like I was in the book Where the Wild Things Are, with all the strange characters moving around me. We explored the various camps, getting a feel for the area and how to get around in the darkness without falling or running into a tree.
By the next morning I was fully in mutant mode, and my worries about the shelter cats and the divorce and the uncertain future were miles and miles away. After skinny dipping in the cold refreshing water I felt very renewed. And our willingness to pick up strangers was rewarded with our now empty Monzie getting some more treats.

That night was to be a rather important night for me. It's hard to explain here, in a public entry... since I don't want to spell things out *too* obviously, though you can try and play along at home haha. You see, while I consider myself not to be a novice at bending the rules of reality, there was one particular area in which I had yet to venture. And not so much of my own doing, or lack of knowing the way, but because my previous partner in crime insisted that I never join him on those trips. This resulted in me having somewhat of a complex about it, as one might imagine. Not only due to feeling controlled, which in probably one of the worst things you can do to a bird-like creature such as myself, but also because it felt like this inequality was being maintained on purpose, as if to keep me in a lower position. And now here was this new person in my life, who knows me well, and they were willing to go with me after a year where someone else wasn't willing even after seven years.
As to the place in particular, if you read the title of Part Five of my pictures, it's rather obvious.
Any fears that I had about my abilities or 'hidden issues' were soon put to rest. I took to things even better than I thought and I had a marvelous time. Most of our evening was spent at Katabatik. The music was otherworldly, and absolutely perfect for my frame of mind. At one point we ended up going to even yet another new place, Dead Man's Territory. It seemed as though if I had taken a second to pause and actually evaluate what was going on, I would have fallen right over due to how far away we had gone. But with no need for concerns, we slipped right in to this new world and danced and moved amongst each other like strange figures in some Salvador Dali painting. I felt so at home and yet so far away from the real world.
It's hard to really describe the night, but an attempt would involve long-haired cave men dancing like owls one second and playing death metal the next, swirling around like wraiths, traversing past Liopleurodon Puddles (don't get sucked into the portal! remember what side it is on), over temporary bridges and fallen trees, and relaxing on soft cozy cushions or under a chandelier that somehow made itself home in the middle of the forest.
The night made me feel extremely close with Daniel, I felt so safe with him, and it seemed natural for us to be constantly at one another's side. I was so happy that I got to experience this with him. And the evening ended on a perfect note, with us wandering down to the meadow to watch the sun rise by ourselves. It was so peaceful and romantic. Then it was back to the coziness of our tent, to fall asleep curled up together.

Unfortunately with every high there comes a low. Or in other terms, we live in an imperfect reality. The previous night's bliss was shattered by the screams of some guy outside our tent. Stuff about getting the fuck away from him and other such hostile stuff. It was hard at first to piece together what was going on. I had only slept a few hours. I opened up the window in the tent expecting to see a fight, but it was only one person, who was freaking completely out, falling all over the place and screaming at invisible people to leave him alone.
He started smashing through our kitchen, knocking over our tables and stove. We got out of our tent, as did some people around us. Attempts were made to calm him down, give him water, get him to the main road. But he was extremely out of it, and violent, so there wasn't much anyone could do. No one knew who he was. Eventually he thrashed his way further down the hill and out of our area. Later in the day we talked to other people we knew who had encounters with him too, but no one knew him or knew exactly what the deal was.
At first it seemed like a funny story, some random guy gets messed up and passes like a tornado through our campsites. Things started to take a bad turn when I found his pants by our tent. I looked through them quickly to see if he had lost his wallet, so we could perhaps get it back to him and such. Well I found drugs, and his wallet, and his only ID was a felony card. Urk.
Things got *extremely* bad that evening when I was getting dressed and Daniel came to the tent saying he had something to tell me and I could tell by the tone that it wasn't going to be good. Turns out the guy was found dead, face down in the meadow. Daniel had seen the body to help identify him. I was pretty shocked, needless to say. I'd never been at a party where someone had died before. People speculated that he overdosed on something, but who knows really. Daniel took the pants down to the meadow. The Rangers were called and they showed up later in the night to remove the body. And that was that.
I'd like to say that such a thing had some huge profound effect on me, but I guess in reality it didn't, at least not in comparison to the very positive events of the night before. Perhaps it sounds completely cruel, but people die all the time, and that's just life. I mean I feel bad, and really wish there was *something* we could have done, but given how things went down there really wasn't, and I didn't know him at all. It was strange though thinking how you could see someone alive one moment and then the next you know they are gone. That's always the thing that freaks me out about death.

The rest of the trip was more mellow, a slow journey back to every day life. We stopped at Ashland for the night again. And the next day explored the city. It ended up leaving a much stronger impression on me than I thought it would. There's a freshness to it, and to other parts of Oregon. A feeling that life is on the verge of new growth and opportunity, a chance to really start coming back together and piecing together communities the way they ought to be. It's quite the contrast to California, where so much of the focus tends to be on the decay, the downfall.

It's funny how a few days off on some adventure can encapsulate life as a whole. The combining of people into new life, the death of others. It's really quite amazing really. And more and more one sees that the key to it all is to just let go of the fear and continue on.
Not much else to say about it.